Lydia Swartz

15 Things You Can Do With Your Poems

1. Place your poems between the pages of library books & then return them. 

2. Go rogue as a mattress store sign waver. Wear the costume; stand on the corner; wave your own poems. They shouldn't be about mattresses.

3.
Mic check your poems at Occupy. See how long before people stop repeating back. Maybe they won't stop. Maybe they'll be glad.

4.
Scotch tape poems onto KEEP OUT or DANGER or WARNING signs. People can read your poems while they ignore the warnings.

5.
Stuff poems into the g-string of your lap dancer at the strip club. OR fold the poems & see if your dancer can pick them up without using her hands or mouth. You should give her a big tip afterwards.

6.
Write poems on price tags and hang them on clothes for sale in Banana Republic or Brooks Brothers or Butch Blum.

7.
At a job fair, give 10 people 1 word each & tell them they have 5 minutes to arrange themselves into a poem. Imply that you are a hiring manager & they might get a job if they do it.

8.
Recruit passersby for a focus group. Give them poems to read to each other & discuss. Leave before they start asking for money.

9.
Write poems on playing cards & stick them into a bicycle cop's spokes. Maybe you shouldn't sign them.

10.
If you get an ad with a return reply envelope, stuff multiple poems into the envelope & return it. Include some glitter confetti, too.

11.
Fill in the blanks of your IRS form with the words of your poem.

12.
At the job interview, answer every question with a poem. It does not have to be a poem about whatever the question was about.

13.
Sneak into the conference room at work & write your poem on the whiteboard. Draw a box around it & write "DO NOT ERASE."

14.
Gift wrap your poem & leave it in a public place. Hide & watch until someone steals it.

15.
Write poems on surgical masks. Hand out the masks at the entry to a department store where they spray perfume on you as you walk in. This is a poem in the form of a mitzvah.